You're doing amazing, sweetie.
Kris Jenner's iconic line has become my daily affirmation.
I was sixteen when this episode of Keeping Up aired. Sixteen years later, I’m still using the phrase. At first, it was a small and funny joke to bring up occasionally, but now it’s become a daily affirmation that I tell myself every morning.
Feeling amazing or finding peace can be hard when your world, and quite frankly, the world itself, is chaotic. In my corner of the world: the film industry in the US is at a standstill due to the writers and actors striking against the AMPTP (Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers); business has slowed down for myself and my colleagues, and the news is overloaded with our world facing a pivotal moment of finding a path of living amongst inflation, political unbalances and injustices; the uncertainty is too much.
Right now, most people I know have no idea what to do with themselves. They’re pivoting their businesses, switching careers or simply in the “wait” period of their careers. (See last week’s article.)
I have felt so much anxiety over the past few weeks, and at the same time, I feel so much pride in the progress I’ve made so far.
How can I feel such conflicting things at once at all times?
I’m in a huge transition period in every aspect of my life, and it’s exhausting. Our bodies anticipate change. I feel like I’m sitting at the top of a rollercoaster, waiting for it to drop. Learning to process all the feelings at once, still maintain my workload, attempt to have a fun summer and pile on all the other things to come with being a “functioning” adult— it's scary to sit with when you can’t pinpoint the triggers that cause uneasiness.
It’s not easy, but I am trying to make it easier.
How do we filter out the noise?
Let’s look at the narrative you’ve been telling yourself. Acceptance and a deep understanding enable us to be okay with what is happening, no matter the circumstances.
Write out your current story of yourself. Think about the good, the bad and the ugly. Once you’ve written it out, go through and look at each item. What are you proud of? What do you need to let go?
Once you’ve done this exercise, write out the version of yourself that is the ideal version. Now compare this story from the past version to the future self and consider how your present self can start bridging the gaps.
Make small changes to manage discomfort.
For example, my ideal version of myself starts every day with a walk. It’s her time to gather her thoughts for the day, listen to podcasts and set herself up for her day. I try to go for a walk every day, but I’m a terrible morning person. So, even though I go for a walk every day, I’m trying to bring it up earlier in my day, but I’m still working on that sleep schedule.
Re-frame the negativity.
You are who you surround yourself with, including yourself. One of the things I’ve known for a while but have only recently accepted is that staying in the negative is my comfort zone. It’s easier to find the bad in things than the good. An active thing I try to implement is to let myself feel the negative, understand where it’s coming from but still come out of it positively. I’m analytical, so this helps.
Something I used to do with a friend, which I’ve started doing again in the past few days, is ending the day with three good things that happened that day, even if it’s something as simple as my skincare routine was on point today.
When you’re around other people who are constantly in a negative mindset, it can impact you profoundly, whether you realize it or not. Misery does love company, but with that being said, finding individuals in your life who can lift you instead of bring you down is essential, even if that means stepping away from people and taking up your energy.
Boundaries are sexy, even though they’re terrifying to implement.
I turned down invites for a weekend alone because I needed to be alone. I wanted to be a burrito in bed, read my books, catch up on episodes of Grey’s Anatomy, and go for a walk. The last two days have been magical though they’ve been uneventful.
As creatives, we place an insurmountable amount of pressure on ourselves. We constantly evolve, develop our skill sets, and strive to reach the next milestone. Take a deep breath, and give yourself a break.
Oh, and in case no one has said this to you today: you’re doing amazing, sweetie.
The Success Myth: Letting Go of Having it All by Emma Gannon (She also has a great Substack called The Hyphen.)
The Perfectionist’s Guide to Losing Control: A Path to Peace and Power by Katherine Morgan Schafler
The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
Mel Robbins ON: Letting Go of Negative Thoughts & Redirecting Your Energy to Self Transformation
Listen on Apple Podcasts | Spotify
Eckhart Tolle on Finding Peace; Accepting What Is
Listen on Apple Podcasts | Spotify
Lewis Howes on The SECRET to Finding Your Purpose
Listen on Apple Podcasts | Spotify
Alison Ledgerwood on Getting Stuck in the Negatives (and How to get unstuck.)
A Morning Meditation: This Is The Day Your Life Begins by Brianna Wiest
Jeremie Kubicek on Finding Peace (The Peace Index)